There are some pretty bold statements in this thread.
But for me, I want to customise my site, as I want it.
And also: Excessive customizing options bloat a software up quickly. Which, in turn, makes it more prone to errors, it makes a software slower and also it decreases the usability.
Facebook has 2 billion users.
Camparing you to Facebook will probably lead to nothing. Facebook is a generic site for everyone, a forum is not. A forum is limited by its subject. Also Facebook has a shitton of money and developers (at least Zuckerberg didn't come up with the idea of just using a cms and then complaining that he can't customize everything), something you probably will never have. Facebook does not have 2 billion users because it's "user-friendly", it's big because of so many different reasons. Personally I'm comfortable with the idea of a forum being different than a social network. I don't want users who just want to shitpost something real quick and then leave. A forum is centered towards making users stay and actively taking part in discussions.
Now to your initial question. You can style the editor toolbar with some simple CSS (it's not even much). And you can disable BB codes that you don't need (that also removes the icon from the toolbar). You don't even need to learn CSS to full extent but a basic understanding is enough. And this is something every administrator should be able to do. It has always been this way and it probably will stay that way for a long time.